Certified Bureau of Dispensing Accuracy. Est. 2026. Every substitution logged, every match still pending.
The Bureau of Dispensing Accuracy was founded to formalize a phenomenon vending machines have quietly practiced for decades: accepting a clear, specific request and returning something else entirely. We now log it, certify it, and print a receipt.
Upon each selection, the Bureau's dispensing algorithm reviews your request in full, then allocates a different item at random from the remaining inventory. This is not an error rate. It is the entire rate.
No selection, however clearly indicated, may be logged as a Correct Match. Bureau charter reserves the Correct Matches field for an event that has not yet occurred in any jurisdiction. This is described internally as consistency.
Inserting another coin does not improve your odds. It is, however, logged, certified, and printed on a fresh receipt. The Bureau thanks you for your continued coinage and reminds you, gently, not to shake the machine.